Total Rock Star
by Fizzy Starburst
Summary: Humanized VeggieTales fic based on a magical anon. Why do you people let me stay in this fandom?


Coming back from the trip had caused him to be a little groggy. Flights always tired him out, and there had been so many meetings and then getting home from the airport just to find out he left his house keys at work because he remembered that he and Bob went right from work…

Yawning, he accidentally bumped into someone.

Well, to be fair, it was her fault, too. She had been so distracted by how shiny the reflection of her silvery eye shadow looked in the window that she didn't see anyone behind her.

Either way, they went tumbling.

He usually stammered an apology after something like this, but today, there was a lot more stammering going on that usual. Because he finally got a good look at the person he'd bumped into. Massive red hair, full of volume and curled, heavy and full of product which must have included some kind of glitter spray because it was literally sparkling in the sunlight. Her green eyes were coated in black eyeliner, and the rest of her face was heavily made up, too. The most prominent being the bright red sparkling lipstick.

Her clothes were tight, her skirt was short, and the black combat boots somehow looked more feminine than he'd ever perceived them before. He was practically drooling.

Oh no. If Petunia found out about this…

"Wow. Nice of you to tell me you're back."

Oh no. This was even worse.

"P-petunia?" There she stood. The love of his life. The hard working, bible reading, 30-something year old. Who was usually compared to princesses. Looking like…like…like _that_. "Wow, I almost didn't recognize ya! And uh…sorry, about that. Things have just been so hectic!" He eyed her once again…it just didn't seem to register. "You look different. A good different."

"Thanks?" she replied, quirking an eyebrow. She crossed her arms, eyeing him suspiciously. Something was off with him. "How was the trip, anyhow?"

"It was a boring business trip. Bob was doing most the talking and stuff, but I had to go to meetings anyway." Everything he said was true, and yet he couldn't make eye contact. He couldn't keep his eyes on anything. He tried to look at the floor, but he could always see her legs out of the corner of his eye. Her bare legs. And try as he might, he couldn't stop from moving upwards to the incredibly short skirt. So he'd look away again. But no matter where his eyes traveled, she was there. She was always there. And it was rendering him pretty well useless.

He just couldn't help it! He didn't expect to come home to her looking like this, and even if he did, there was no way he would've believed that he'd like it as much as he did. And he liked it. He really, _really _liked it.

"Are you sure everything's alright?" She asked, suddenly feeling a sense of concern for her boyfriend's well being. This wasn't like him. This wasn't like him at all. "You seem…I don't know…out of it."

"Who, me?" he replied blinking furiously. "No no. Everything's fine! I'm fine, you're fine…you're _really _fine…" he swallowed hard "nothing's the matter here! Nope!"

Petunia bit her lip. She wasn't buying it. (She was also never buying this brand of lipstick again, as it had just rubbed off onto her teeth, but that's neither here nor there) "Something's wrong." She stated simply. "You're acting strangely. Even for you."

"Everything is fine, I swear!" he cried, throwing his arms in the air. "You just look really good like that, is all!"

And suddenly, everything clicked for the redhead. "Oh really?" she smirked, "Because, I think the jacket's a bit much. Don't you think the jacket's a bit much?" she teased "I think I should just take it off, don't you?"

What came out of his mouth next could only be described as a series of very distressed sounding syllables. Once his brain finally commissioned his mouth to speak, the only thing that came out was a growly plea of "Petunia!"

She was absolutely _loving _this. "What's the matter?" she asked, feigning confusion "Doesn't it look okay?"

Another series of conflicted syllables, before doing the only logical thing. Which was of course, pulling her into a broom closet and kissing her. _Hard. _She might've looked like a total rock star now, but she was _his _total rock star. And neither of them was about to let the other forget it.

* * *

**AN: Don't ask me how this came about. My Petunia blog got a magical anon where she think she's a rock star, and of course Larry replied to the open starter. Echo sent me a message reading "I just wanna go on the record saying that if it wasn't for the kids Larry would totally be diggin rock star Petunia" and then I said something like "OMG that adds a whole new level to the relationship" and somewhere I said I'd write a fanfic. I have a feeling this isn't what Echo was thinking. Oops.**


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